all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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