oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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