So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
