This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
