he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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