what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
