the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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