Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
