These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
