when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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