Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
