uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
