haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
