Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
