we're blogging at a bar
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
