sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
