I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
