did you get engaged???
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
