it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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