a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize