The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
