Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
