somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
