I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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