YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
