This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
