Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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