well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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