I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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