everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
