dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
