i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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