you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
