remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
