WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize