I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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