just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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