Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So. Much. Porn.
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