those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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