Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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