True but thats because hes a fetus.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize