Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
this will be a night to untag.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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