THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
