Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
