I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize