my shit smells like andre
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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