Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
