im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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