you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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