im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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