I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
