Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
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ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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