fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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