So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
