At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize