It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
