Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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