he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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