This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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